Beautiful

Three things happened to me in the same week.

1.  I reread Proverbs 31.  For all of you Bible scholars, Proverbs 31 (starting with verse 10)  is titled in many Bibles with something like, "The Virtuous Wife."  Or as I like to call it "The step back to what I really should be worried about as a wife and mother."  Anyhow, verse 30 goes like this

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, 

But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Did you read that?  Let it sit a minute.  Let it sit....

Ok. #2.  (or as Brian would say, "B!" Because I have been known to say, "Brian, I have two points!  1.  blah blah blah and B. blah blah blah"  Don't ask me why I do this almost.every.single.time. Epic.Fail.  (As my niece says).

2. I asked the lady across the street, Marge, if she would share some photos with me.  I requested any old photos of our street or our house.  She's lived across the road for 76 years.  Yes, folks, she was 6.  Isn't that just insane?  Anyhow, the next time I went over there were some photo albums sitting out and I knew I'd hit the jackpot.  I love love love old photos.  I was a history major in college and there is just so much you can learn from old photos.  The style of dress.  Hobbies from that time.  Etc etc.  Ok, ok, back to what I need to be talking about.  Marge had her senior photo.  It was breathtakingly beautiful.  Her hair had that old style "pin curl" (I think  that's what they called it).  Her lips were full and colored a shade of maroon.  It was stunning.  I told her this.  Actually I said, "Marge, those were some luscious lips!"   Then she made a pucker face and we laughed.  Why am I saying this?  Because to look at her now, you would never know she was such a hottie pretty lady.  She's had (almost) 82 years of wear and tear on that body- birthing 4 children, having numerous health problems and even breaking a hip.  She probably doesn't see herself as that 18 year old beauty. 

beauty is passing

3. I randomly burst out into this chorus.  There is a song by Bethany Dillon called, Beautiful. If you know anything about my history you know I love music.  I'm no music scholar, but it does speak to my heart.    This is the chorus:

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful 

You  may think she is talking to her husband or friends, or even the world, but it's actually written about God.  You see, the last chorus she changes the words up a little:

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful  

My point:

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, 

But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I'm not going to lie.  I go to the Y and I see these girls that look like models and I think, "Ugh, I could never look like that!"  I envy others who are shorter. curvier. have a baby without getting one stretch mark.  And I hate.  Hate myself.  Hate them.  Get an attitude for no.absolute.reason.  Then something brings me back.  God's word.  Time with a friend.  A song.  And it says to be, "It really doesn't matter."  I can try all I want to be perfect but it's not going to happen.

Are people going to remember me for my fleeting beauty or my heart?  Will they remember me by my waistline that has grown or the LOVE I showed?  Will my children remember the age lines on my face or the smiles on my face?  The varicose veins in my legs or the legs that chased them around the yard and crawled behind them up the stairs? 

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, 

But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

God just wants my heart.  My children and family just want my heart.