Dear God...

Excuse my layman's terms, but sometimes I know I really suck at this thing called life. I'm cranky. I'm fussy. I gossip. I have hatred spewing out of my big, fat mouth. But you still love me.

And I know there's a lot going on right now and I'm trying to pray and pray and pray...but seriously, God, sometimes my prayer list is so long I can't even get through it all before going to sleep. Not that talking to you puts me to sleep, but running after Mister J climbing the stairs all day is hard work. And people are sick, and dying, and hurting, and it just feels like I can only plead for so long.

I know you said you wouldn't give us more than we can handle. Or maybe you didn't really say that, we just hijacked it because we thought it would make us feel better. And God, so far I don't think you have given me more than I can handle. BUT if you could just maybe tone it down for a little while, and help me from being a blubbering, crying, idiot all the time, that would be good. Or maybe you could just tone down my hormones. Yes, that would be great. If you could just dry up my tear ducts for a week or so so I don't look like a blooming moron when I start crying in the Hob Lob because "As the Deer" comes on the PA and I'm realizing how bad I need you to get through even a visit to buy home decor.

So what I'm saying God, is...I don't really know what I'm saying. What I'm saying is- I'm here. And no matter what, I'm going to keep serving you. I'm not going to lie, some days I think, if I were like Job, and his wife told me to "curse God and die..." well, it's understandable (to Satan at least). But you know what- you can take it all away and I'm going to keep serving You. Because you're the only constant we have in this life. And you have blessed us so abundantly. Please remind me of this when I'm spewing garbage out of my mouth and forgetting how unbelievably blessed I am. Help me to be a better witness.

Last night I read in Mark that if I tell a mountain to move and I really have faith, it will move. So God, I'm asking that this BIG GIANT mountain you've got out there right now- McKinley, Everest, etc etc- MOVE IT. Thrust it into the ocean. Cause I believe you can do it. I really do. And if it's your will not to move the mountain, I'll understand, but in the meantime, please just keep moving my heart.

Dear God, the tears are still flowing. Please help.

Love,
Leah