Encourage One Another- Part II

If you haven't figured it out yet, I do a lot of thinking while I am walking. My brain must work overtime when I am out of the house and have some minutes to contemplate things without Jackson crying or needing my attention. He is there in the stroller but lately he has quite enjoyed his trips in the stroller. I think the motion keeps him happy...anyhow...

I wanted one more time to briefly touch on encouraging other women. I realized that the core of my frustration with this topic has come since having Jackson. Women love to give advice. And if there is any time women LOVE LOVE LOVE to give advice it is when a birth, baby or child come into the equation.

A few weeks ago I was feeling really down as a mom. I felt like I couldn't do anything that would make Jackson happy or satisfy him. One day he cried and fussed most of the day and as soon as Brian came home it was like a switch went to "off" and he was happy. If any of you women have been in this scenario it is very frustrating and because the baby can't talk or verbalize what he needs/wants it is even more exhausting. What makes it even harder is when you are trying to tell someone how you feel or just your general exhaustion and in starts the "well you need to give him xyz" or "With my babies I always did blah blah blah so you should try xyz and it will work."

Since this I have made a vow to myself to never talk to a new mom (or an old one) like this. My goal is going to be to encourage. Let's be honest, we all have our own ways of mothering and they are never going to be exactly like everyone else.

There has been one voice of constant encouragement since Jackson has arrived and that is my Pastor's wife, Vicki. (I'm not trying to hurt anyone else I am just saying Vicki has been consistent). She always notices what I am doing and then tells Jackson, "You have a great mommy." Or she'll say, "Wow, you really have a routine down, that's awesome." She told me early on that she knew becoming a mom was a big adjustment and she would be praying for me. See Ladies, THAT IS WHAT NEW MOMS NEED TO HEAR. Not "do this" or "do that."

If I sound a little angry and bitter, it's because I am. Haha. Just kidding. No, I am not angry because I know that women always have good intentions they just don't turn out right. What I guess I am writing this for is so that you will look at the things you say to other moms and maybe consider saying them aloud to yourself in your head before you blurt them out. As a new mom, would you have liked to hear that? Would it have made a difference to what you already felt was right? Unless the new mom is causing physical/emotional harm to her child, I suggest we all just stay out. If they ask what you would do, great, give your advice...but if they are going about their own business they really don't care at what age you gave your baby cereal, or what age you took away the pacifier, or if you think they need to not hold the baby as much, or hold the baby more, or stand on your head and twirl the baby around (just kidding on that one but I'm surprised it hasn't come up).

God gave all women a maternal instinct, so let God lead our mothers... For any of us that chose to have children, we have(had) our chance. So let new mommies have their chance. Encourage. Build up. Support.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I feel better. Now on to the dishes. :)