I doubt they know how much they've shaped me...

Gran Money @ our wedding

Gran Barnhart

It's unfortunate- but many times we only pay tribute to those that have already passed from our lives. We hold our thanks, our respects, and our love for a time when we can't share it with the person who needs to hear it the most. Many things in my life have shown me that you have to love someone "out loud..."

There's not a time in my life I can remember not being close to my grandmas. Growing up in such a small community, grandmas were always just a stones throw away. Mom's mom (from here on "Gran B") was maybe a block down the street. Dad's mom (Gran M) only a mile up the road. We were there on weekends, holidays and after school. Every New Year's Eve in grade school was spent with Gran M, "jiggling our pennies" to welcome in the next year. In Jr High, Gran B allowed me to build a hangout in her attic for me and my closest friends.

Both had difficult lives. Gran B was a Pennsylvania miner's daughter. She married my grandfather Lee (hence my name, Leah) during WWII and tells how grandpa borrowed 50 cents off of her so he could pay for the marriage license. Gran M had 11 brothers and sisters and when her mother died when Gran was 13, she moved in with her own grandmother to help her out. She later dropped out of high school to marry my grandfather at age 16 and she was a mother by 18.

Though I've heard these stories 100 times, they never get old. They've shaped me and helped me to put life in perspective. I thought "tragedy" was when my veil arrived on the day of my wedding and it was not sewn correctly. Gran B lost her brother in WWII not long after she was married. I spent countless hours of my teenage years just arguing with my mother. Gran M never even got that opportunity. When you hear your 87 yr old grandmother (B) tell you her and grandpa once almost divorced over a massive fight while wallpapering, I can laugh and know that my marriage, too, has those same crazy moments (just ask Brian about the time I threw Santa at his head haha). When Gran M told me she made 10cents/hr waiting tables, I realized the $40-$50 a night I would complain about making sometimes at the pub really wasn't that bad.

Two women. Two very different lives. But the stamp they have put on my heart is so deep I tear up as I write this. I'm so grateful to God for giving me them to learn from. My generation has very few women to look to as role models. What we need are women to teach us patience, true love, sacrifice and commitment. Priorities have changed in the past 50 yrs and many of these values have been lost. We don't value our husbands, our children, or even our dollar. For women who faced the Depression, WWII and then sending their own children off to either Korea or Vietnam- I have the utmost respect and admiration.

As the beauty fades and the body becomes less sturdy, the heart of a woman shines through. Barbara Bush once said, "Memories make a fine cushion for old age." She's right. I only hope I can someday be to my grandchildren what Gran Barnhart and Gran Money have been to me.